Nope, last I checked it was blue. But in divorce, each party has their own sense of what’s real, and it changes by the moment.
First the disclaimer: I’m not an attorney, so by no means am I offering up any legal advice. And, if there is even a remote chance of reconciliation between you and your spouse/partner, then by all means, please take your time and make mindful decisions.
But let’s say you and your ex have been living separately for years. You’ve filed for divorce and you have virtually no communication with one another. Support payments are in place, you have separate accounts, separate homes, even new relationships, and if kids are involved, custody is more or less ironed out.
So how come you’re still legally married? What’s the hold up?
I’ll let you answer those questions for you.
IMHO, as much as it pains you to have to deal with the remaining nuances of divorce, not doing so simply leaves bitterness on the table for everyone (in-laws too). It fosters adversarial relationships, confuses the hell out of your kids (if applicable), and you’re just being reckless with your spirit having a foot in two worlds.
I believe this is true whether you are the one desperate to get your divorce across the finish line, or you’re the one who is still hanging on.
Remember that divorce brings out the worst in everyone. It takes you to your edge and then sends you barreling right over it. Embrace the wisdom you now have to tie off the remaining loose ends and move forward in peace.
It’s time. The sky isn’t yellow. It’s really blue. Everyone can see it’s blue.
More to come,
Tanya B.