I’ve always been somewhat of a Curious George. Yearning to learn, uncover… understand. It’s no coincidence then, my life path has presented me with so very much to learn, uncover and understand. From personal circumstances like divorce and the death of loved ones, to bizarre encounters with ex-spouses or colleagues to major news events like historic, if not harebrained, Presidential elections :). It’s part of the reason I became a journalist in the first place. “Digging deeper” was my motto. But…
That kind of curiosity can kill the cat.
The judgment kind.
The, “my moral compass is better than yours” kind. It was Walt Whitman who wrote, “Be curious, not judgmental”.
Asking questions that make you smarter or more compassionate after hearing the answers – that’s the good kind of curiosity. Wanting to know why someone believes they can speak with dead people for example… especially when you know regardless of any answer they offer up you’re never going to accept it or understand it – in fact, you’re likely to be even more critical of them afterward – well, that’s just judgey.
I’ve gone down rabbit hole after rabbit hole in search of explanations for the unexplainable. The answers to why are so elusive or utterly ridiculous they lead to even more confusion, fired up frustration and inevitably … the negative clouds roll in. You lose your seat.
My thirst for answers or some psychological or L O G I C A L understanding of the proverbial “why” would have me spending hours and hours reading or on the computer googling and searching; diagnosing and judging. Putting (more) energy into suffering.
Why do people lie? Why do people spin the truth? Why do they manipulate? Why do they alienate? Why do they kill? To what end? What is their motive? What will they do next? Why did this circumstance unfold the way it did?
We may never understand their answers to why.
Full.
Stop.
The moment I shed my hankering to understand why someone did something, said something, believed something or why a situation unfolded the way it did, my entire life illuminated with positivity. Those intermittent clouds rolled right on out. Hold your seat. Ah positivity reigns!
How?
I flipped the curiosity toward me.
I began asking myself, “Why are you so offended by what someone else has done or said or believes? Why are you letting this circumstance lead you – hook you? Why are you being captured by negativity?”
I’ll pause there.
To allow for introspection.
Ask yourself why.
Be curious to get smarter. Better. Faster. Kinder. Not to judge.
More to come,
Tanya B.
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