by tanyabittner | Sep 19, 2015 | Today
I’ve been messaged privately through my blog several times over the past few months by women who are actively going through separation or who are in heated, painful conversations with their husbands about divorcing.
Most of my writings are about life after filing for divorce, not about marriages headed for divorce so I’ve really had to examine my replies. Divorce is such a personal experience and I’m just not qualified to advise on how to get there or how to prevent it from happening. Every situation is so nuanced and different. I can say this with confidence though:
Often times the divorce process resembles how the marriage looked.
I’ve said this before in my first post back in 2013 Alignment – “I’m not an advocate of divorce”.
Even if you think you’re ready for it, you’re not. Whether you’re the one initiating divorce, or the one fighting to prevent it, you will experience the following in varying degrees at some point through the process:
- Fear
- Abandonment
- Loss of Control
- Devastation
- Frustration
- Vulnerability
- Betrayal
- Economic Worry
- Lifestyle Changes
- Anger
- New Boundaries
- Inequality
- Inconvenience
- Loneliness
- Bitterness
- Helplessness
- Physical Pain
- Emotional Pain
- Failure
I write about how to deal with and accept the uncertainty of all that.
Sending you light and love in your personal journey.
More to come,
Tanya B.
by tanyabittner | Sep 7, 2015 | Today
It also takes up so much room in your brain that could be better spent on things you love and enjoy, like aligning your life for a better you or championing something philanthropic.
Everyone is on a journey of self evolution; a work in progress. You never know when your catching them along that path.
So don’t be quick to judge and dismiss; you don’t like it when it happens to people you care about, or causes you believe in, so dial back the internal dialogue you have with yourself that people should look, behave, and speak in a certain way according to you.
You can’t possibly see everyone in their wholeness and be privy to their decision making.
Free up some of that space in your mind for kinder, more accepting, playful parts and thoughts of you.
Take a break from judging yourself through others.
More to come,
Tanya B.
by tanyabittner | Aug 22, 2015 | Today
That thing you keep pushing off for the right place, time, or circumstance… get on with it already!
It’s nagging at you for a reason. I’m not talking about the things you don’t even think about unless your memory is jogged somehow… Like taxes. Pause.
You should totally roll up your sleeves and get those things filed, but it’s not what I mean when I say get on with it. I’m talking about the dreams, desires, and aspirations you think about every waking moment.
Get on with those.
Take small steps toward realizing what’s in your heart – then when you take big steps and get momentum, no matter how long it takes, give ‘er! [my Canadian upbringing came out right there in the end – no apologies].
You’ll be *this* much closer to aligning your life because you’ll be contributing to your heart; you’ll be making deposits for your heart instead of withdrawals. Oh girl, oh man!! When you see the balance sheet of your heart stacked with deposits – there’s nothing like it!
Get on with it!
More to come,
Tanya B.
by tanyabittner | Aug 13, 2015 | Today
Say what?
Yes it’s true. For example, you can have your work persona, and your bedroom persona. You could also have 10 personas or 20… doesn’t matter. You define you :).
Either way, obviously they’re very different versions of you. Living authentically doesn’t mean everyone in your sphere has or gets to experience every part of you.
You’ll know what serious, funny, loving, sad, intellectual, academic, athletic, professional, grumpy and/or silly parts of you to show to whom and when.
It doesn’t mean you’re inauthentic… It means you are fantastically multidimensional!
Love all the pieces of your whole.
More to come,
Tanya B.
by tanyabittner | Aug 12, 2015 | Today
And that’s ok…
You feel it – viscerally… the universe telling you it’s not safe to land and establish roots just yet, and it’s not ok to fly away either. So, just hang.
Inspired by such an “energizing” meet up with my brilliant, radiant friend Cynthia Saito tonight.
We were so in the moment we didn’t think to snap the obligatory selfie, but I promise you it was a vivid, authentic, playful, and surprisingly enterprising evening :).
Then my hubby walked up and we were a *wrap* (play on words for those of you who don’t know about Wrapadoo) … because, [he’s] GORGEOUS and I needed to get him home ;-).
More to come,
Tanya B.
by tanyabittner | Aug 10, 2015 | Today
Monday’s can be manic. Try and find a little you time to slow things down and reawaken. Feed your body and your soul.
I found a little Peace here at one of our favorite joints.
More to come,
Tanya B.
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