It’s so true. It. Just. Is.
The practice of positive thinking yields transformative results.
Perspective is everything. How you view your current situation already begins to determine its outcome.
More than laws of attraction… Perception is a form of obsession.
Be obsessed with positivity.
More to come,
Tanya B.
Ok so in the spirit of intercommunication (the action of engaging in two-way conversation) and interconnectedness (a oneness in all things), let’s examine a few words and their definitions (thank you Google):
Emotion: a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.
Cultural: of or relating to the ideas, customs, and social behavior of a society of people.
Health: the state of being free from illness or injury.
Maternal Instinct: an inborn tendency to want to protect and nurture one’s offspring.
Sure, these words and their definitions independent of one another are pretty straight forward, they’re vanilla. But when you put them together as human characteristics in their most nuanced and vulnerable contexts, these words take on very different meanings.
For example, if a mother who’s multi-cultural (passionate and intense in moments of fear) is staring mortality in the face (so, unhealthy and scared), resulting in a heightened maternal instinct/tendency to want to protect her kids (see mortality) is repeatedly put in a defensive position, the result will almost assuredly be EMOTIONAL.
Being surprised by that outcome is akin to jumping off a boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, while covered in blood into a frenzy of sharks and expecting them not to eat you.
I think what makes someone compassionate is the ability to feel your own pain and confusion or recall how you felt when you experienced pain and confusion because if you’ve suffered, couldn’t others? Own it – and acknowledge that while people may have different story lines for what’s pushed them to the edge – when it comes to reacting to those situations – WE. ALL. BEHAVE. THE. SAME. WAY. (Thank you Pema Chodron). Enter oneness.
Listen to learn. See: Hold Up title.
Whether you’re in the hospitality business, technology, education, the arts, or science… or your main interactions during any given day are with the grocery store clerk… doesn’t matter. When you’re connecting with people regularly it’s important to have an awareness of them, not just you. If you can just think for a moment before you engage: “What’s the most likely outcome vs. the intended outcome… And how close are they aligned?” Human behavior is 93% predictable (in 2010, a group of leading Northeastern University network scientists concluded). If you’re astute and take environment and circumstance into consideration, you can probably predict the outcome of most of your interactions. Pause.
Mindfulness requires conditioning… it’s not something you just “get”.
It takes years of practice to develop… if you want to. Be mindful that is.
Be deliberate. Be intentional. Be aware. Be mindful.
Give people time to adjust to their new realities, if you’re privy to those. Pump the breaks until you start to see their protective shields coming back down (see human behavior). Uncertainty is everywhere and in everything.
People are inherently good. Yes, there are some real fu*^ing assholes out there. But generally speaking… people are imperfect and they misstep, but they are good.
I will believe that until the day I die.
Peace out.
More to come,
Tanya
That’s right. YOU.
Whether you’re the mom who needs an extra set of hands (or two, or, or) to be the best mom you can be, or the woman unapologetic for being fierce when it’s called for (and you get to choose when that is because it’s your perception), or the wife who just received some bad health news, or just that person on the edge… of a miracle, or of spinning off.
You’re
still
dope.
Come back to that feeling of compassion for others and yourself. Come back to that place of love for others and yourself, of forgiving others and yourself.
Do and be the best you can in the moment, then vow to do and be better in the next.
No judgment here.
More to come,
Tanya B.
Where there was once order, there is now chaos. It’s just like that.
Life.
My favorite author of living beautifully is Pema Chodron… love what she says:
We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again.
So true isn’t it? Our lives are constantly transforming and evolving. Even when routines are in place, and things seem orderly (among the multitasking and over-scheduling), is j u s t about the time it all gets disrupted; turned on its head.
We hear some bad news, get grumpy in a parking lot, or we feel shitty about some event that happened, and we get all caught up (hooked) in the story line behind it. The “he said, she said, he did, she did, excuses, misinterpretations, frustrations and bad feelings” hook us and put us on the edge. Most of the time all that stuff is just unnecessary aggression because people are generally good with kind hearts. But we forget that when things get topsy turvy.
Our biggest problems are the ones we create for ourselves.
If we just practice looking at the situation or problem that has stirred up all the chaos, acknowledging it for what it is, and moving on (when we’re ready) with a fresh perspective and rededicated mindfulness to try our damnedest never to feel that shitty again – the sooner we’re deepening our understanding of life and order is restored.
Until next time.
It feels yucky, but as Chodron would say, “it’s good to be thrown from the nest”.
We regularly miss these moments of chaos for the lessons they truly are. When things are uneasy we panic and freak out – we tell ourselves, “it means something is wrong”.
It’s not true. There’s just some disorder we need to sort through. It is what it is.
Embrace the lessons and the opportunities presenting themselves and climb back in the saddle… ‘er nest :). This time. Every time.
More to come,
Tanya B.
Recently I heard a version of a story often told by psychologist and mediation teacher, Tara Brach.
Imagine you are walking in the woods and you see a small dog. You’re about to pet the dog. Suddenly it snarls and tries to bite you. You go from wanting to pet it, to being angry that it wants to attack you. As you turn to leave in judgement, you see the dog has one of its legs caught in a trap. Now, you feel compassion for the snarling dog. You know it became aggressive because it is in pain and is suffering. (YogaLife, September 2014)
And there it is. The moment you immediately identify with the dog, and that lady who got so angry at you for cutting her off on the freeway, or the coach you love who yelled at you and your kid after practice. You even identify with YOU… for doing all the same things to others at one time or another.
People who hurt, hurt. It’s real.
The foot in a trap is analogous to feelings of betrayal, hurt, misunderstandings, miscommunication, frustration, lack of control, injustice, you name it…
I’m not suggesting you subject yourself to abuse or regular aggression. I am suggesting you have compassion for the people who lash out at you, mistreat you, condemn you, misunderstand you, accuse you, or lose their patience with you. Remember the snarling dog. Their behavior may have nothing to do with you at all. As my mama would say, “don’t borrow trouble”.
People are generally good and genuinely care. Don’t judge them.
Enjoy your weekend – surround yourself with your tribe, or good books, or soothing music, or rock and roll, or a workout, or whatever and whomever helps you LOVE YOU!
Cue cheesy grin :).
More to come,
Tanya B.
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