Ok so in the spirit of intercommunication (the action of engaging in two-way conversation) and interconnectedness (a oneness in all things), let’s examine a few words and their definitions (thank you Google):
- Emotion
- Cultural
- Health
- Maternal Instinct
Emotion: a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.
Cultural: of or relating to the ideas, customs, and social behavior of a society of people.
Health: the state of being free from illness or injury.
Maternal Instinct: an inborn tendency to want to protect and nurture one’s offspring.
Sure, these words and their definitions independent of one another are pretty straight forward, they’re vanilla. But when you put them together as human characteristics in their most nuanced and vulnerable contexts, these words take on very different meanings.
For example, if a mother who’s multi-cultural (passionate and intense in moments of fear) is staring mortality in the face (so, unhealthy and scared), resulting in a heightened maternal instinct/tendency to want to protect her kids (see mortality) is repeatedly put in a defensive position, the result will almost assuredly be EMOTIONAL.
Being surprised by that outcome is akin to jumping off a boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, while covered in blood into a frenzy of sharks and expecting them not to eat you.
I think what makes someone compassionate is the ability to feel your own pain and confusion or recall how you felt when you experienced pain and confusion because if you’ve suffered, couldn’t others? Own it – and acknowledge that while people may have different story lines for what’s pushed them to the edge – when it comes to reacting to those situations – WE. ALL. BEHAVE. THE. SAME. WAY. (Thank you Pema Chodron). Enter oneness.
Listen to learn. See: Hold Up title.
Whether you’re in the hospitality business, technology, education, the arts, or science… or your main interactions during any given day are with the grocery store clerk… doesn’t matter. When you’re connecting with people regularly it’s important to have an awareness of them, not just you. If you can just think for a moment before you engage: “What’s the most likely outcome vs. the intended outcome… And how close are they aligned?” Human behavior is 93% predictable (in 2010, a group of leading Northeastern University network scientists concluded). If you’re astute and take environment and circumstance into consideration, you can probably predict the outcome of most of your interactions. Pause.
Mindfulness requires conditioning… it’s not something you just “get”.
It takes years of practice to develop… if you want to. Be mindful that is.
Be deliberate. Be intentional. Be aware. Be mindful.
Give people time to adjust to their new realities, if you’re privy to those. Pump the breaks until you start to see their protective shields coming back down (see human behavior). Uncertainty is everywhere and in everything.
People are inherently good. Yes, there are some real fu*^ing assholes out there. But generally speaking… people are imperfect and they misstep, but they are good.
I will believe that until the day I die.
Peace out.
More to come,
Tanya
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