by tanyabittner | Sep 15, 2017 | Today
Don’t take action right away. Get some rest. Clear your mind. Meditate. Change the focus. Think about someone less fortunate than you. Soften. Breathe deeply. Soften some more. Encourage. Uplift. Get busy. Sleep on it. Then, leading without judgment, and with an open heart, decide if you still need to act or maybe you just need to let it go (forever or for a while longer).
What you think about you will manifest more of. Everyone knows this by now, right?
Peace and more to come,
Tanya S.
by tanyabittner | Sep 4, 2017 | Today
Warning: This is a rant of sorts as back-to-school/activities resume – feeling perplexed by the dialogues I’m hearing lately…
Folks are still physically under several feet of water (from hurricanes and flooding) – can you IMAGINE??? Homes and lives are threatened by wild fire, more deadly storms and bizarre weather are in the forecast, people are dying from acts of terrorism, of illness and murder, parents are l o s i n g their children, and 800 thousand more are about to be deported from the US. By a bozo.
And through all this real hardship and devastation happening RIGHT NOW – WE should be helping, praying, lifting each other up – and laser focused on positivity, but instead I’m hearing a lot of folks ridicule, belittle, and blather on-and-on about nonsense – about the exact opposite of hardship and pain – in fact, I’m even witnessing people cause pain. So sad. Stop it already. Please.
I’m not trying to diminish any real problem you’re experiencing or injustice you feel – just want to encourage you to practice finding the positive in any negative situation and to be really careful how you speak to others. “Diminishing another person’s light never makes your shine brighter” – said someone other than me. I want to hear about ways we made a fellow big or little human feel better, helped them to believe in themselves and succeed.
Because, there is more than enough unkindness and hate in the world.
Hearing a lot of resentment and revenge-talk too… breaks my heart and boils my blood. Stop trying to submarine people. It’s just kinda – no, it’s totally – 100 percent, shitty. Oh, and for Pete’s sake, please stop taking advantage of people’s generosity, hard work and contribution they make or the nature of their responsibility “to you” – it’s a short-sighted plan. We’re all connected. #Nothinglastsforever
Vulnerability – it’s actually all the rage right now – it shows character and confidence and leadership.
Of course everyone needs an outlet to get frustrations and hurt feelings off their minds and hearts in order to process and heal. Who doesn’t? I’m doing it now (shrugs meekly). But what is your platform? What are you venting about, really? Is it how horrible someone else is or, is it about the struggle you’re experiencing in our own personal growth, your evolution, your vision, your desire, your wisdom, your lessons (in the mess) your feelings, and the decisions, changes, contributions, advice you’re going to make and give so life (for everyone) can get better?
Change starts with YOU. With SELF.
If you are self-aware enough to embrace that, I want to know you – even deeply. At 44 years young, I am moved by people who have an evolved consciousness and awareness of self and others. People who understand how powerful their words are. This wasn’t me 15 years ago or even 5 years ago, but it IS me now. And if I could say anything to the old me it would be: “Judge less. I forgive you. I’m sorry. Be kinder. Broken hearts – break hearts.”
It’s ok if we’re not aligned spirituality or politically. But at a critical minimum, if we want to connect, if we want to be leaders, we need to think bigger than ourselves in space and time, acknowledge our multiple dimensions, and others’ – and consider how we can help the greater good in our tribe, in our larger circle of friends and family, and then, yes, the world. Why the hell not?
So as this school year leaps out of the gates and us moms, dads, educators and coaches are all thrown back together through activities and holiday functions – if all you do (seriously if it’s all. you. do.) is whine about others, judge, criticize, and blame *everyone* else – then I wish you peace and light but I’ll probs duck from the convo. Go do some good. Lead from within (Lolly Daskal).
More to come,
Tanya S.
by tanyabittner | May 31, 2017 | Today
Totally! Like, 10-15 minutes before I wrote this, I was the exact opposite of “zen”.
(Note: The picture here was taken on the weekend but it captures my current vibe – the “after I told my ego to get lost” self :)).
YES – I get nervous, worried, in-my-head, full of doubt, too. Hello ego!
Shut it down, I tell myself. Meet with that softer, happier, confident, ok-with-uncertainty, you! Transfer those anxious feelings into excitement (’cause that’s what they are a lot of the time…). Is there anything in your life you are on the cusp of having, doing, experiencing and you’re super jazzed about the potential but feel undeserving, scared, unwanted, haunted by legacy shit you had nothing to do with, or thinking you shouldn’t desire whatever it is because: money, priorities, optics, change, judgment?
When the nerves get *that intense* is right when I Go For It Anyway. I do the very thing I want to do or start feeling the way I’m meant to, even though my ego is YeLlInG at me, I shouldn’t.
Change the narrative from, “I’m nervous and scared or ashamed” to, “I’m excited and eager and happy” and watch how life changes for the better when you surrender to your heart’s desire.
Feeling like we get each other lately, thank you for reading along :).
Writing is therapy for me so I wanted to share my today thoughts on the hunch you had some today thoughts of your own.
More to come,
Tanya B.
by tanyabittner | Mar 14, 2017 | Today
Sometimes going through scary stuff can put you in denial… like, “Wait, I know what you just said, but, you can’t be talking about me”… hands in ears, singing, la la la la la… kind of denial.
I get it. Man do I get it.
And so, how do you zoom back-to-life – back to re-al-ity (did y’all just sing right there? a little soul-II-soul for you ’80’s fans)… seriously though, how do you force yourself to be present, hear what’s being said, and make informed decisions so things become, less scary?
It’s kind a what we’ve been training for right? Not to hear bad news and be cool with it – not quite – I mean, conditioning ourselves to be less reactionary, less afraid, more comfortable with the hearing of bad news… uncertainty of life, more awareness.
FYI – yep, another one. this was in drafts (I write A LOT) since March 14th… and again, I know exactly what we were preparing for then – what we were practicing… and now that we’re on the other side of it – our practice paid off. Loving the practice! Today is May 31st… but the post will live where it was meant to… where it was felt.
I promise, more to come,
Tanya B.
by tanyabittner | Feb 17, 2017 | Today
Wowsie has 2017 been… active. It feeeeeeels like May or June, but nope, February 17th.
We’ve been operating daily at a higher than average stress level as a baseline – so when something unexpected spikes, anxiety flies off the charts. Between President drama, fake news accusations, ex-husband and ex-wife conciliations, attorneys on the payroll, family death and illness, women’s rights, fears, immigration nightmares, full-time (amazing) work and intensified kids’ schedules with magnificent fees – it’s remarkable we (I mean I) haven’t completely F R E A K E D out in the last, wait for it… five weeks.
If it weren’t for my caring, brilliant, “he gets me”, husband, our faith, an unconditional loving family, solid network of new and lifelong friends, trusted colleagues, I likely would have!
I’m a straight shooter – always have been. And i’m 100 % unapologetic for it. I only have relationships with friends and family of like mind. High integrity, fair individuals with love, not ego, as their foundation. And, not one of them is a “yes man”. We all need people around us who adore us, sure… but they have to be willing to speak truth to us too – because make damn certain, if you have a posse of ass kissers around you who never challenge your motivations, decisions, and reactions (with love), you’re not evolving – and we all need to do more of that.
FYI: I had this post sitting drafts, today is actually May 31st – but I’m going back and posting this where it belongs in its moment in time… things are VERY different now than they were February 17th… very. Oh the feels looking back :).
More to come,
Tanya B.
by tanyabittner | Feb 14, 2017 | Today
As I start to type, I’m not entirely sure how this post will end up. So many thoughts swirling in my head. I learned early this morning that my sister-in-law, Lynne (Earlyn), has lost her battle with cancer. We knew it was coming. This post isn’t about her though, because privacy – but I’m heartbroken for my nieces – Lynne’s daughters, and for their daughters and sons. It brings back memories of losing my mom, dad and my other siblings who’ve passed. Especially my brother Russ, Lynne’s husband. I’ll bet they’re having a romantic Valentine’s Day in heaven, together after 20 years apart.
Nothing delivers a blow to your day, week, month, year, life, quite like learning of a loved one’s passing. Whether you were close to them, close to their loved ones, or distant at the time of their death – if you’re human, if you “feel”, it hurts.
Death has a way of bringing things into sharp focus. Sure, you run the gamut of emotions for a long while, but through the burn of salty tears, the physical pain in your ribs from weeping, and all that despair and emptiness, one thing is crystal clear… LIFE.
The things we quarrel about, the scores we try this way and that way to settle, the stories we make SO large – in an instant, none of it matters.
I’ve been the champion, the tough girl, the one with a voice, the one who offended and the one who was offended over pettiness. I’ve spoke truth to power and sometimes prevailed, but most times I suffered in the end. None of that impresses me anymore. I no longer have the desire to be “right”.
Over the years, I’ve learned there are three sides to every story (yours, theirs, and the truth). The sides aren’t always miles apart from each other, sometimes the story lines are nuanced and quite close. But everyone has their own perspective clouding the truth in any given situation.
I’ve also learned people are mostly good. They misstep, they disappoint, they fail, they hurt and they’re hurting, but mostly they feel bad about all of it afterward.
Nah, what impresses me now, in my ’40’s – is kindness and love. How much of it can we show each other? And don’t even get me started on forgiveness. Whether it’s asked for or not, it’s FREEING to let go of needing to hear someone tell you they’re sorry before you will forgive them. Just do it.
You suffer when you’re angry. My goodness! Who has the time or energy, to be angry?
Yes, be principled. Fight peacefully for what you believe in. And listen. We don’t do enough of that. We can all get better at that.
I wonder, do you think it’s really worth it now or even in the very, very end to have been so self righteous? To scorch the earth? I guess if winning and ego are important to you, the answer would be a super awkward, yes. But I’ve witnessed enough death and tragedy to know it’s not worth it.
Love, people! Just love and be kind and be good and forgive yourself and others. Just surrender.
Valentine’s Day isn’t only about romantic love – it’s a great reminder to love. Love LIFE.
RIP Lynne + Russ
More to come,
Tanya B.
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